~~ I wrote this first bit in a comment to a friend today. As I wrote it, I thought I would share it wish you as well, because it was a thought I often forget. ~~
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I think the quality that I value first after His grace, for which I am endlessly grateful, is His faithfulness. As much as I choose to question Him, I can say that through everything - He is faithful.
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Over the past few weeks my heart has been torn figuring out who I am in Christ and who I am in Canada and who I am going to be in the future.
Today in church pastor Dan made a comment similar to this about how there is a jewish saying that goes something like, 'There are two things in life that you can never worry about. The things that can be fixed and those that cannot. Those that can be fixed should be quickly and should not be thought of further. And those that cannot be fixed cannot be fixes so we should not worry.' I've said the quote wrong, but it struck me funny. There are many things in my life that I worry about, and they can be put almost entirely into those two categories. I won't write more about this because I'm not trying to write a deep post, but it's just a thought to share.
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So I must say that one intention of this post was to show a picture of my car, however my camera batteries are failing me today and so that is not an option. So I'm trying with my cell phone, so I don't know how lovely these pictures will be!
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Now to the important part. Dear Dad!
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Dear Dad,
Now you might have wondered why I didn't make you a card today. The reason is simple - I didn't think about it. I considered buying you a card but I knew that none would suffice. I considered writing you a song, but since you already have my CD you can listen to what I've written already. So here is a letter for you.
I love you.
Sincerely with everything in me I can say - You are my hero.
Thank you so very much for being the Dad that you've always been. Today is called 'Father's Day' but that is too formal. You're not a Father. I've never called you that except in jest. You are my Dad. My Daddy! My soccer coach and my cheerleader! I've never doubted you love. You have sincerely told me every time you see me that you love me. You have told me that you love how I always end phone conversations with 'I love you Dad'. Sometimes I forget, but don't think that I don't still think it.
Dad, you have been so much. Parkinson's is a disease that I hate. I do. Sometimes I get so angry with the disease and the fact that it is taking over your life. Yet you are so strong. You still do so much. Too much often. So much that my heart breaks whenever I see you because it just hurts everything in me to have a Dad who won't be able to run with my children.
However, you have made up for it. You still are willing to pick me up at two in the morning if my car breaks down and you still make sure that I get enough sleep. You tell me to clean my room even though I don't live at home anymore. But more than that, you tell me that you love me.
You tell me through your actions.
Kirsten and I talked a while ago about how we have never had to look far to see a beautiful and strong and amazing marriage. I have never doubted your love for Mom. You have been faithful to her and made sure that she knew that you love her. Thank you for opening her door in the pouring rain and for telling her that you love her before you hang up the phone.
I get scared sometimes Dad. I worry about your health and I worry about so much but you have taught me that I don't need to.
Every time I ask you why you aren't angry with God for giving you Parkinson's, you calmly explain yet again that you are thankful for what you do have and that you have so much and that you - I can't even explain it Dad. You are so great!
Thank you so much for encouraging my music. You were the first person to get one of my CD's here in Canada! (Well, other than the Canadians aboard the ship but that doesn't matter!)
You wanted to hear it. You make sure others hear it and you encourage me so much!
I can't even begin to thank you for everything. You are a man of God. Even now I just turned around and saw your Bible open on your desk. You seek God and find Him. You always pray for me and I feel those prayers. Sometimes you just stop me and tell me you're going to pray for me before I go out. Sometimes I get bothered because I'll be late or whatever, but I am truly thankful for the fact that you care so much about me. You care so much that I have all that I need.
You got me the car! It's so beautiful and you always make sure that it's driving well. Thanks!
While I might not be very good at showing you that I love you, I hope that you know one hundred percent that I love you.
How else would I have my soccer trophy's on my dresser. They're on display so that I never forget my best coach! (Sorry Greg)
Dad, you inspire me. Your faith to God, your family, your work, and everything you do makes me want to work hard. Whenever I make a mistake, I hope you won't find out because I want your love and I never want you to be mad at me.
Thank you so very much for loving me. I know my arrival into this world wasn't exactly expected at my arrival time, but I made you stay young! You never stopped me from doing what I needed to do to figure out me. Maybe some day I'll get a paying job Dad! Thanks for supporting me as I went to Africa. I am so thankful that you came. It was so great to see you!
You are the one person in this world who deserves the title of world's best Dad! You are so great Dad and I love you sooooooooo very much!
Love you forever then longer,
Nad
ine Karina
P.S. These pictures aren't in the right order, but I know you won't care Dad! Love you.
Maria and I have learned over the past year through many phone calls and emails that we are similar in so many ways and it's a friendship that is such a blessing. Every conversation with this girl leaves me encouraged and blessed!
Our bread wasn't quite defrosted yet, so the sun helped!
These verses are a promise from God to me in this time. In everything, I trust in Him because nothing else matters at all.
