Monday, August 20, 2007

14 days!

Fears start to plague me often. I am scared more of coming home to everyone I've ever known being a completely new person and me being the one person who wants them to be who I remembered them as. I fear that possibly I will get sick of cleaning and doing the work and will regret the decision.
However, with each fear, God has been so constantly near me. He reminds me that He is the one who has called me to Africa, and He is the one who will never change.
Yesterday today and forever
You are the same, you never change
Yesterday today and forever
You are faithful and we will trust in You
- Vicky Beeching -
A song by Newboys called "Hands and Feet" reminded me of much. I told God that this trip is for Him. I mentioned that I was giving God a year of my life, and someone seemed skeptical that it was only a year. I've given God my life. Where He leads me, I will work to follow. However, this year is exclusively a God and me year where we will grow in our relationship. I hope and pray that each day for the rest of my life will bring us closer, but I am dedicated to this year as a year of growth and giving my life to God.

An image flashed across my T.V. screen
Another broken heart comes into view
I saw the pain and I turned my back
Why can't I do the things I want to?

I am willing yet am so afraid
You give me strength when I say ...

I wanna be your hands
I wanna be your feet
I'll go where you send me, go where you send me
I'll be your hands
I'll be your feet
I'll go where you send me, go where you send me

And I'll try, yeah I'll try
to touch the world
like you touched my life
And I'll find my way
To be your hands

I'll abandon every selfish thought
I surrender everything I've got
You can have everything I am
And perfect everything I'm not

I am willing, I'm not afraid
you give me strength when I say ...

I wanna be your hands
I wanna be your feet
I'll go where you send me, go where you send me
I'll be your hands
I'll be your feet
I'll go where you send me, go where you send me

This is the last time
I turn my back on you
From now on I'll go out
Send me where you want me to
I finally have a mission
I promise I'll complete
I don't need excuses
When I am your hands and feet
I am your hands and feet

Hands,(Hands)(Hands)
Feet, (Feet)(Feet)
Go, (Go)(Go)
Go, (Go)(Go)

I wanna be your hands
I wanna be your feet
I'll go where you send me, go where you send me
I'll be your hands
I'll be your feet
I'll go where you send me, go where you send me
I'll be your hands
I'll be your feet

I will go
I will go where you send me
I will go
I will go where you send me
I will go, go
I will go, go
I will GO!
Go where you send me

I wanna be your hands
I wanna be your feet

God, let me be your hands and feet to everyone I meet. Sqash my fears, and help me to know you are always with me, wherever I go.

4 comments:

tomandlynette said...

God bless your hands and feet...in the big tasks and the little ones. I'm proud of you! Love Lynette

Erica said...

Nadine:

You don't know me... but I found your blog through someone else's that doesn't know me (Kirsten)... that's right. I am a bonafide blog stalker :) (In a really, really good way - I promise I'm NOT creepy!)

In 2005, I felt led to go to Colombia - for at least one year... I remember nights of lying awake, listening to worship music wondering what on earth I was doing. I had had to defend my decision to pretty much everyone who heard I was going... my parents in particular.

What ensued ended up being only 6 months of the craziest experience of my life. At the time there was this one song that played over and over in my mind... since then, any time I feel stifled where I'm at, or like God's tryin to do something in me/something different/SOMETHING I listen to Tim Hughes - Consuming Fire:

"There must be more than this,
O breath of God, come breathe within...
there must be more than this, Spirit of God we wait for you,
Fill us anew we pray...
Consuming fire, fan into flame,
A PASSION FOR YOUR NAME,
Spirit of God, fall in this place, Lord have your way,
Lord have your way with us
Come like a rushing wind
Clothe us with power from on high,
NOW SET THE CAPTIVES FREE,
Leave us abandoned to your praise
Lord let your glory fall...!"

Sorry this is so long. BUT... I hope it's OK if I check in on from time to time. Be BLESSED and I hope this experience of serving is SUCH a beautiful, life changing one for you...

Yoda said...

Hi Nadine,

I'll be praying for you as you serve overseas.

God bless.

-Ricky/Yoda

The W's said...

Hi Nadine,
I linked onto your blog through Kirsten's. I remember Kirsten telling me about your upcoming adventure to Africa. Blessings on you as you embark on this journey and follow in obedience to God's plan for you. I have a friend who went to Africa on Mercy Ships and he had an incredible experience. May your fears be eased as you trust in Him.
I so can relate to the first comment in your recent post. Reid and I just moved away and I am facing those same fears. Coming back to find people changed yet wanting them to be how I remember them. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings. Hope you don't mind that I left a comment.

Brenda