As the title clearly says, we're on our way.
This ship rocks so much. We had been warned, but I didn't expect it so far.
When you walk down the hallway, you get almost pushed to the side, and walking from starboard side to portside you speed up as the ship is going down and then slow down as it comes up. It's definately very wierd.
So far I'm alright. This screen is creating a headache though, so I should go!
Please ... smooth sailing!!
Friday, November 30, 2007
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Another Request
I have another prayer request.
My friend Nicole, a nurse here on board, her Mom passed away sometime between last night and this morning. It's a shock, and Nicole is going home. Please pray for her.
My friend Nicole, a nurse here on board, her Mom passed away sometime between last night and this morning. It's a shock, and Nicole is going home. Please pray for her.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Prayer Request
One of our crew members have a severe case of Malaria. She is going to be emergency flown to London tomorrow. This is because of the severity and because we set sail on Friday and we cannot have her on a ship that will be in the middle of the ocean.
I would truly appriciate if you can pray for her.
Psalm 91 was given tonight as a scripture to pray on her behalf.
"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust." Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked. If you make the Most High your dwelling— even the LORD, who is my refuge- then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent. "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation."
Please pray with me for my friend. She has a severe case, potentially linked with cerebral malaria, and she has some issues with fluids in her lungs.
Thank you for your prayers. We serve a good God. Of that I am assured.
I would truly appriciate if you can pray for her.
Psalm 91 was given tonight as a scripture to pray on her behalf.
"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust." Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked. If you make the Most High your dwelling— even the LORD, who is my refuge- then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent. "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation."
Please pray with me for my friend. She has a severe case, potentially linked with cerebral malaria, and she has some issues with fluids in her lungs.
Thank you for your prayers. We serve a good God. Of that I am assured.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
The snow's coming down
I'm watching it fall
Lots of people around
Baby please come home
The church bells in town
All ringing in song
Full of happy sounds
Baby please come home
They're singing "Deck The Halls"
But it's not like Christmas at all
'Cause I remember when you were here
And all the fun we had last year
Pretty lights on the tree
I'm watching them shine
You should be here with me
Baby please come home
If there was a way
I'd hold back this tear
But it's Christmas day
Please please please please
Baby please come home
Baby please come home
Baby please come home
Baby please come home
27 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am doing good. Just got sentimental with Mariah Carey today!
Missing you lots!
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
How do I title this?
I feel so funny because literally everything I do is turning into adventures. So this weekend, I went to Buchannan which is about a three and a bit hour drive away from the ship. We left around 9 or so with 6 of us. We had four girls and two guys heading out for a nice weekend. It took us a fair while to get a taxi, but finally we did with two in the front and four in the back. Nice and tight!The drive there was rather fun. Three was lots of laughing and telling stories and just hanging out. I was most definitely the youngest by a long shot (5-10 years) yet it was great. It’s cool because the phrase ‘age doesn’t matter after high school’ is actually true. You graduate and suddenly anybody is willing to hang out.
So driving was also squishy because of the huge and very ‘comfortable’ pot holes that lined the entire way. Eventually we got there after what seemed like forever and using our Mercy Ships ID to get through UN check points (only in Africa!). So we got there, found our guest house and got slightly settled in. We put on our swim suits and put our stuff in our rooms.
We walked through town and were largely noticed seeing as we were the token 6 white people in the town. “White man! White man! White woman! White woman!” I can not convey how weird it is to be yelled at simply for the colour of my skin. I was talking to my Mom last night about that and she commented that in Canada if a tiger was to be walking down the road we would shout and scream because it is so unique and different and crazy, and so in some ways, we are like, unique and different and crazy to these people!We walked down the beach though the town toilet (the beach) and ended up finding an extremely little beach which the UN often uses. 
It was upstream from the town so the water was so clear that we could see the bottom. This might have been the first time. We swam and hung out for a bit but headed back a little before dark for safety.We went out for dinner and it was fine. We stayed outside so many people stood close and just watched us. We then chose to hang out for a long time and rather made a spectacle of ourselves as we played the animal game plus plenty plenty laughing and noise. If you ever want to be noticed; come to Liberia. 
Later that night we headed back to our guest house. Let me clarify to those of you who are going, ‘Isn’t she in Africa … guest house’? Four girls sharing a room with three single beds with a fitted sheet, pillow, and mosquito net. There was no blanket; not that you would need one, no A/C (though there was a fan with different plug than the outlet in the room), but very good security (a small pin like thing holding the door shut). So we hung outside for a bit chatting and then went into the room. Myself and another girl (Emily) talked for a while and then headed to bed. Woke up in the middle of the night to a very very loud dog who needed desperately to be quite and then in the morning by women screaming at each other.Once we were ready to go, we headed out at just before 10am. The sign in our room said to be our by 10 so that’s when we left. Vern put our money in a book inside and told the man on the porch where it was and we left.We went out for breakfast and then walked down the beach. As we were walking we got caught in like, torrential rains and hid under a roof of a random hut. Lucky for the four slightly tipsy Ghanaian men there were suddenly four white women under their roof. Needless to say we got plenty touched in the next while; I got ‘married’ to one of them and the most felt up of everybody. Again; only in Liberia!
Once the rain was fully over we walked further and then headed back. We were walking back to the guest house because we had arranged to meet the taxi driver there at 3.30. We got there and were quickly harassed by the house man telling us that we had not paid him. Seeing as we had; we were rather confused. So, the next hour and a half consisted of us being told that we had stolen from him and being forced to not be able to leave. We were basically surrounded by about thirty Liberians and it was definitely sketchy. I was just like; this is lame – we paid you! However, according to what the man says, and what we say, unless he actually did scam us (which is what we think); his ‘friend’ was on the porch and looked quite like him so when we told him where we had put the money he took it so when the owner came to the front, all he saw was his empty house and no money. It was very frustrating because in no way was it our fault that the money was stolen. If I bought something in Canada and the money was stolen from the store I would not be forced to repay or to have to be harassed for over an hour and a half. Finally after just giving up we paid the man again. It was frustrating the most because bribery and corruption is so huge here in Liberia, and we in no way wanted to support it but we had to be conscious of our own safety, and we had had enough.
As we drove away we all were rather frustrated because we don’t really feel like Mercy Ship 
people should go to Buchanan because there is no real police force, so issues are settled with violence and no reasoning.Probably an hour or two down the road we stopped for a minute. As we climbed back in the sun was close to setting and we were getting aware that the earlier rain and some of the rain that had consistently been coming down had created the potholes to be much larger and much more uncomfortable for the car. The car we were in already was low to the ground, and our feet were constantly feeling the ground under us.Soon after sunset, Vern, who was sitting beside me laughingly, prayed
‘Oh Lord, please let this drive last longer so I can have Emily on my lap even longer’. The words had just come out of his mouth when the lights on our car died. Needless to say, the rest of the drive was very scary. The three hour drive took over seven hours.Let me say that driving through potholes that you cannot see is scary, and driving on one of the only roads (this was several hours later) in Liberia that has few potholes in the night where people are driving extremely fast towards you with basically no way to see you.So. We’re driving, and I have already decided that we will die. I had almost no doubt that I would die on Sunday night. I have never prayed so hard or held onto someone else’s hand so much with such vigour. I decided right then that I would rather, not that I will ever have the choice, but if I did, I would rather be killed in a sudden car accident than one that you know you are going to die in, because fear consumed me for about 5 hours. Liberia does not have street lights. There is no speed limit.
As well, one of our tires popped. It popped seconds after I prayed aloud ‘God, please help us to drive slower’. Again; we quickly told God, ‘God, it’s not a prayer until we say ‘amen’!!!’ We laughed rather than cried as we stopped on the side of the road. Three of us went of into the bush to go to the washroom and just kind of laughed. Our only choice was to laugh because the other option of to cry. I saw a car come up and asked Jesus aloud if the car could have a tire for us to have. As we walked up to the cab I was amazed to see a man pushing a tire up to our cab. God definitely answered that prayer.
So the next several hours were still
spent full of fear, but at least one of the four tires was good!Many hours later we arrived at the gate to our port. We all grabbed our stuff, paid our taxi driver, and I prayed over him. I truly feel that the angels were working overtime for us, and we had one diligent angel holding our extra tire on because it was held on by three screws (I don’t know what they’re called). There should be I think, five or six, yet we had only three that were not connected very well.Once we got through the first gate, we called the ship to open the second gate since we were past curfew. The walk was spent in the suddenly pouring rain. Inside the ship we met up a few minutes later after we had changed, ate our second meal of the day, and just kind of chilled for over an hour. We were all kind of shaken up and very much aware that our lives had been drastically changed in that day. I have never (I think) been filled with so much fear before. I have never actually thought that I would die. I’ve gone through moments that caused fear, but never before have I actually genuinely thought that death would consume me. My hope throughout was that I would meet Jesus, and for me, that is alright, so I was alright with carrying on.
I phoned home just to talk to my Mom as I needed her to know that I had almost died, and then went and read some in my Bible.
Here is what stuck out for me:
Psalm 34:4 I sought the Lord, and he answered me; He deliver me from all my fears.
Psalm 43:3 Send forth Your light and Your truth, let them guide me; let them being me to Your holy mountain, to the place where You dwell.
Philippians 4:13 I can do everything who Him who gives me strength.
Exodus 14:14 The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.
Monday, November 12, 2007
So ... the secret!
It's funny because it really doesn't seem like a huge deal probably to you, but it is rather significant here.
As of while ago, we were told some information. We were told the information and then told that we could not communicate it home in any way. I told my Mom last week just because she's my Mom and I think that mom's have that right (to know just about everything - within reason). So, on November 30th, the Africa Mercy will sail from Monrovia, Liberia to the Canary Islands where we will stay for repairs and the holidays. We will then sail to Sierra Leone for just a few days and then come back to Monrovia for another 10 months. For me, it just means that I am here rather than Sierra Leone and have to get a ticket from here rather than there.
It's hard on a lot of the crew because Monrovia is a tough city. There is little to do, and almost anything will cost some money, and it definately is not very safe. I go out with just another girl sometimes, but I probably would not go out at night unless I was very sure of where I was going.
So yeah. Please pray for contentment to cover the crew as many people are frustrated by the decision.
Have a lovely day.
I love you all and miss you lots!
.Nadine
It's funny because it really doesn't seem like a huge deal probably to you, but it is rather significant here.
As of while ago, we were told some information. We were told the information and then told that we could not communicate it home in any way. I told my Mom last week just because she's my Mom and I think that mom's have that right (to know just about everything - within reason). So, on November 30th, the Africa Mercy will sail from Monrovia, Liberia to the Canary Islands where we will stay for repairs and the holidays. We will then sail to Sierra Leone for just a few days and then come back to Monrovia for another 10 months. For me, it just means that I am here rather than Sierra Leone and have to get a ticket from here rather than there.
It's hard on a lot of the crew because Monrovia is a tough city. There is little to do, and almost anything will cost some money, and it definately is not very safe. I go out with just another girl sometimes, but I probably would not go out at night unless I was very sure of where I was going.
So yeah. Please pray for contentment to cover the crew as many people are frustrated by the decision.
Have a lovely day.
I love you all and miss you lots!
.Nadine
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Liberia. Oh the country which is home.
Does life ever get good and then stay good? I'm not sure if I've figured that point out.
This week was a fine week. Nothing great. Nothing horrible. I just kinda felt like posting because I hadn't in a while, and I figured if I posted maybe somebody would think to check and comment or something. I know that I need to start updating this during the day because late at night I lose some senses and just get far too honest. So, maybe writing now isn't the best idea, and yet I will.
I'm scared. I'm scared shitless (pardon that, but it's the truth) about what this next year will enfold. I wrote about this a while ago, and I've been trying to give it to God, and it's sick hard. I have to figure out how to raise money from over here. Coming here it seemed like there were no hinderances, but I'm here, and it all seems opposing and frustrating. Please again, I ask, pray with me as I figure out how to raise money and prayfully consider what to do.
Secrets are also hard to keep. There's one I can't share on here that I really want to, so I'll just alude to it and say that if you've heard something (you'll know what I'm talking about) it's potentially true and yeah, I can't tell you for whatever reason, but when I can I'll write about it. If you don't know what I'm talking about, don't think anything about what I wrote because reading over what I wrote raises questions for me, and I know the secret, so yeah. Oh my goodness. Late posts are not good. And yet I don't delete it all and wait for tomorrow.
Let me think over the past while and see what I haven't written about.
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday were filled with work. Actually though, Friday, I went to work, threw up, and then went to bed for the day with a killer headache. I feel fairly better now. Lots of headaches still, but other than that not too bad. I don't feel healthy but I don't feel like I'm going to throw-up again. So, I potentially would have gone out Friday, but I didn't think going out dancing would be good for my head, so yeah. I can't remember what I did. I probably either watched a movie or, actually I have no idea at all.
Saturday was great! Woke up feeling kinda not amazing but decided to go to an orphanage. Had a great time. It's a orphanage called Fatima's Cottage (or something like that) and it's on a huge piece of land with lots of building. Definately the nicest orphanage I've seen here. On the way back got some sweet action on puddles and we washed the land rover when we got back because it was COVERED in mud. Lovely lovely! Then, decided to go to the beach, so we were lucky enough to have another driver so we took out another land rover, drove the scenic route to the beach, and had a great time at the beach! It was definately the best beach day (based on water) I've had here. The waves were so huge that at one point a friend of mine commented that if we were in Florida (where she's from), the lifeguard definately would not let us be in the water. It was great. I usually spend quite a bit of time reading, but I didn't even crack open a book. I was in the water except for like 1/2 when it rained. It was lovely. As we drove home we went crazy fast down a muddy pothold road and it was another great moment! Oh Africa!
Today was interesting. I made a wager with God. I told Him when I woke up (far earlier than I had planned) that if I was supposed to go to church, one of my roomates who has invited me to her church several times would be in the room. She was. God won that round! So I went to church with her and it was good. Definately not what I would ever choose as a church for me, but still really cool. We're only here for about two more weeks, so I'll probably go for the next couple weekends there potentially.
After church I got back here on ship, played in an uno tournament, ate dinner, watched a movie, hung out on the dock, had some funny conversations, and here I am.
It's been a pretty good weekend.
But I'm alright,
I'll win this fight.
I feel kinda like I can't end this like it is, but really, I am good and I'm not good. I wish I could cry to get it all over with. I haven't cried in at least three months, and I'm ready to drain the tears and wait for another few months and do it again, but the only way to cry is to get really really mad and burst, and well, I don't want that to happen.
(Ted Loder - Guerillas of Grace)
How shall I pray?
Are tears prayers, Lord?
Are screams prayers,or groansor sighsor curses
Can trembling hands be lifted to you,
or clenched fists
or the cold sweat that trickles down my back
or the cramps that knot my stomach?
Will you accept my prayers, Lord,
my real prayers,
rooted in the muck and mud and rock of my life,
and not just the pretty, cut-flower, gracefully arrangedbouqet of words?
Will you accept me, Lord,
as I really am,
messed up mixture of glory and grime?
For good news.
43 days until Christmas
50 days until New Years
58 days till I get to see my Mom and Dad
110 days until I'm 19
167 days until I get home (I think, but I don't have my ticket with me so I'm not sure what exact day I get home)
How many days until I see you?
Guaranteed, well, potentially guaranteed:
I love you.
I miss you.
I am so thankful for you and I hope you are fully aware of that.
This week was a fine week. Nothing great. Nothing horrible. I just kinda felt like posting because I hadn't in a while, and I figured if I posted maybe somebody would think to check and comment or something. I know that I need to start updating this during the day because late at night I lose some senses and just get far too honest. So, maybe writing now isn't the best idea, and yet I will.
I'm scared. I'm scared shitless (pardon that, but it's the truth) about what this next year will enfold. I wrote about this a while ago, and I've been trying to give it to God, and it's sick hard. I have to figure out how to raise money from over here. Coming here it seemed like there were no hinderances, but I'm here, and it all seems opposing and frustrating. Please again, I ask, pray with me as I figure out how to raise money and prayfully consider what to do.
Secrets are also hard to keep. There's one I can't share on here that I really want to, so I'll just alude to it and say that if you've heard something (you'll know what I'm talking about) it's potentially true and yeah, I can't tell you for whatever reason, but when I can I'll write about it. If you don't know what I'm talking about, don't think anything about what I wrote because reading over what I wrote raises questions for me, and I know the secret, so yeah. Oh my goodness. Late posts are not good. And yet I don't delete it all and wait for tomorrow.
Let me think over the past while and see what I haven't written about.
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday were filled with work. Actually though, Friday, I went to work, threw up, and then went to bed for the day with a killer headache. I feel fairly better now. Lots of headaches still, but other than that not too bad. I don't feel healthy but I don't feel like I'm going to throw-up again. So, I potentially would have gone out Friday, but I didn't think going out dancing would be good for my head, so yeah. I can't remember what I did. I probably either watched a movie or, actually I have no idea at all.
Saturday was great! Woke up feeling kinda not amazing but decided to go to an orphanage. Had a great time. It's a orphanage called Fatima's Cottage (or something like that) and it's on a huge piece of land with lots of building. Definately the nicest orphanage I've seen here. On the way back got some sweet action on puddles and we washed the land rover when we got back because it was COVERED in mud. Lovely lovely! Then, decided to go to the beach, so we were lucky enough to have another driver so we took out another land rover, drove the scenic route to the beach, and had a great time at the beach! It was definately the best beach day (based on water) I've had here. The waves were so huge that at one point a friend of mine commented that if we were in Florida (where she's from), the lifeguard definately would not let us be in the water. It was great. I usually spend quite a bit of time reading, but I didn't even crack open a book. I was in the water except for like 1/2 when it rained. It was lovely. As we drove home we went crazy fast down a muddy pothold road and it was another great moment! Oh Africa!
Today was interesting. I made a wager with God. I told Him when I woke up (far earlier than I had planned) that if I was supposed to go to church, one of my roomates who has invited me to her church several times would be in the room. She was. God won that round! So I went to church with her and it was good. Definately not what I would ever choose as a church for me, but still really cool. We're only here for about two more weeks, so I'll probably go for the next couple weekends there potentially.
After church I got back here on ship, played in an uno tournament, ate dinner, watched a movie, hung out on the dock, had some funny conversations, and here I am.
It's been a pretty good weekend.
No I'm not color blind
I know the world is black and white
Try to keep an open mind;
I just can't sleep on this tonight
Stop this train
I want to get out and go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can
But honestly will someone stop this train
So afraid of getting older
I'm only good at being young
So I play the numbers game to find away to say that life has just begun
Too many shadows in my room
Too many hours in this midnight
Too many corners in my mind
So much to do to set my heart right
Oh it's taking so long
I could be wrong,
I could be ready
Oh but if I take my heart's advice
I should assume it's still unsteady
I am in repair
I'm in repair, I'm not together but I'm getting there
I thought a change of scenery,
Would change my point of view.
But even the magical ocean,
Is just another shade of blue.
But I'm alright,
I'll win this fight.
I feel kinda like I can't end this like it is, but really, I am good and I'm not good. I wish I could cry to get it all over with. I haven't cried in at least three months, and I'm ready to drain the tears and wait for another few months and do it again, but the only way to cry is to get really really mad and burst, and well, I don't want that to happen.
(Ted Loder - Guerillas of Grace)
How shall I pray?
Are tears prayers, Lord?
Are screams prayers,or groansor sighsor curses
Can trembling hands be lifted to you,
or clenched fists
or the cold sweat that trickles down my back
or the cramps that knot my stomach?
Will you accept my prayers, Lord,
my real prayers,
rooted in the muck and mud and rock of my life,
and not just the pretty, cut-flower, gracefully arrangedbouqet of words?
Will you accept me, Lord,
as I really am,
messed up mixture of glory and grime?
For good news.
43 days until Christmas
50 days until New Years
58 days till I get to see my Mom and Dad
110 days until I'm 19
167 days until I get home (I think, but I don't have my ticket with me so I'm not sure what exact day I get home)
How many days until I see you?
Guaranteed, well, potentially guaranteed:
I love you.
I miss you.
I am so thankful for you and I hope you are fully aware of that.
Sunday, November 4, 2007
So I figured I'd add some fun pictures. I got my hair cut as you can tell. I'm still not sure about the length of the fringe, but it's really easy to do which means I get up and the fringe is right and I don't have to do anything except the rest of my hair, which, since I live on a big white ship where there ain't nobody to impress ... means I don't do much!
This past week I went through more gum than most do in probably a month. I was on a juice/fruit detox but we allowed ourself sugar free gum and sugar free tea so I went through a lot of gum. That leads to some rather fun pictures, so that was cool.
The past couple days have been fun falling back in love with God. It's scary a little bit for me to look at myself and see how far I had moved from Him, but I am loving this time of realizing that I love Him, and He loves me back, because He wants to.
I think that it might take me a little bit of time to get used to adding pictures encorporated into my blog. As you can see, it doesn't work amazingly well for me!
I also thought that I might add some lyrics for a song I wrote back in September. It was kind of a simple song, but the way I added the music has turned it potentially into one of my favourite songs that I've written. I write a lot, but most songs are so personal that they more are just emotional, but this one speaks of God and speaks of my incredible love for Him. I wrote it after realizing how much I needed Him. I am amazed that I wrote it when I did because I wasn't exactly in the place of loving God right then, however, that's all good now.
Your grace pours down like rain
Uncovering my pain
Making me never be the same
Your love for me is like the sunshine
You say that "she's mine"
All of the time
You don't withhold
You don't withdraw
You simply hold me
And beckon me closer
I am overwhelmed
I am so overwhelmed by you
I am refreshed
I am so refreshed by you
My turned back won't stop your endlessness
I am never on my own
Your outstretched arm is reaching to me
Breaking through my heart of stone
Because
You don't withhold
You don't withdraw
You simply hold me
And beckon me closer
I am overwhelmed
I am so overwhelmed by this
I am refreshed
I am so refreshed by you
I am overwhelmingly refreshed
Friday, November 2, 2007
A sigh, smile, and many thoughts
I think that often times we all go through dry times with God. Actually, I don't think that; I know that. The past while here in Liberia has been some of the toughest spiritual time for me with God. I left Abbotsford from a summer where I grew more than I thought I could and I seriously learned so much about God and I fell in love with God, but I came here and I think I fell out of love with God. The passion left, and it was more like talking to a brick wall. I knew God was there, but there was a incredibly huge barrier between us.
Well. I say this with a sigh, a smile, and many thoughts. God has become alive to me again. I am seriously in a such a good mood. I am at peace. I am joyful. I am emotions that I haven't felt in almost 8 weeks.
It's hard to even explain it because it's just so amazing to me.
So one thing I have been really missing is church. We have services here, but I often feel they lack true emotion for God. Even though I have not been that tight with God, I hate fake Christianity. I would rather everybody just be honest than everybody pretend that everything is good. So yeah. Well, I have been so desiring to hear like a sermon series. I miss South Abbotsford and just hearing services that link from week to week rather than random spiratical topics each week that don't apply to me where I'm at, or at least I don't feel they do.
So, starting last night, a guy names Don Price came to speak. He spoke last night, tonight, and will speak several times tomorrow. Well, last night was good. He talked about grace and it was amazing. God has been speaking to me almost daily about grace so it was just another moment for God to speak. It was good, and I stayed after and just prayed with another girl. My largest frustration in life has been that I believe in God with my head but not my heart and we just prayed that God would reveal Himself to both of us and that we would like tangibly feel Him. So, all was good.
Today was a fine day. Long. My hands get tired when I think of all I want to write, so I'll just stick to the important stuff. There's lots going on here on the ship and I'm tired and stressed so finding joy in work is hard. Anyways, back to the point of the post. I'm doing a 100% pure fruit juice and fruit detox so I have been spending a lot more time alone since I don't stay in the dining room for the whole meal because I get too hungry, so I was in my room tonight from like 4:45-7:30 and it was AMAZING!! I just got to sit by myself, listen to music and read. Quite lovely, I must say. Needless to say though, 7.30 came by and I knew I either needed to go to bed or go out and I didn't want to sleep so I figured I would go to this speaker thing. I would go at least for the singing and then slip out if I was bored, but I was not.
Tonight the topic was on how God is our Father and that He chooses to love us.
Here are some things that hit home during the talk.
1. When we think of a shower that doesn't have water coming out of it, either the water supply is low or the plumbing is wrong. When we don't feel God, it's not that His supply is gone, it's that the plumbing is gone.
2. God does not have to love us, but chooses to because He wants to.
3. God loves me!
4. When we think of ... where is Jesus, we say, in our heart, where is the holy spitit, we say, with us, and then we think of God, and we say ... well, he's in heaven. But God is with us in our heart. We can't think of Him as a father that is only present from up above with a stick hitting us when we're bad and sending only His and spirit to love us. He loves us.
5. God loves His son as much as He loves me, and since He loves His son SO much, then I'm pretty much set for love!
6. Jesus is the 'first born' of God, which means that I am one that is further down the line, but a sibling of Christ, and every one who is of God (so everybody) is my sibling.
7. God said to love others as we love ourself. That means He wants us to love ourself. He wants us to be happy and joyful and to be seriously good to others all the time, but also to love ourself.
8. How can we experience the love of God if we don't love ourself?
9. When bad things happen, it's not like God is watching and like, encouraging them to happen. And he doesn't simply let them happen. He lets us have our own decisions to be wrong, and often, because of one person's bad decision, lots of others are affected.
Anyways, there's so much more that I could write. It was amazing and inspiring and great and all, but that truly is only beginnning.
After he was done, Don Price strongly urged that if we agreed with what he had said and had made new comittments or were deciding things about God, that we should do something. We should stand, or kneel, or bow, or something to show God that we were serious, as well as to make it a memory in our mind so that we would remember this day. I chose to go up to the front of the room and just kneeled for a long time. At first I praised God, then I realized that I had to be honest with God. I told God that I felt like I was talking to someone who wouldn't listen. I was honest with God for the first time I think in about two weeks or so. So, I was sitting there and I started to just be filled with peace and the thoughts of life started to flee from my mind and I was just simply there.
One of my friends came over and prayer over me and it was really sweet. I was really encouraged. We just sat there for a while, and I was like, 'I feel like a little girl, sitting at the feet of her daddy, and her daddy is telling her a story. And the story is that he loves her'. I felt truly loved by God.
I knew however that I could not leave. For a long while while I was praying I felt strongly that I could not leave until a very specific person came over to me and prayer for me. It was wierd because this person is not someone who I know, have had any real conversations with or anything, but who is actually the executive director of the Africa Mercy. Needless to say, I was sitting there, just kinda serine and she came over and asked if she could pray over me. I nodded, and I can't even explain what happened. She started praying exactly what I had been praying, but for me, and more or less, from God to me. She prayed on my behalf exactly the words I had said just minutes before unaudibly. After I told her that I had known that she had to pray for me and she smiled.
God is good.
All the time.
All the time.
God is good.
I left and was good, was going to go to bed (this was like 3 hours ago) but just was like, I can't sleep, I gotta praise God!! So I went up to the international lounge but someone was playing guitar so I had an amazing conversation with the girl who I prayed with yesterday, and it was just very very cool to see how God worked in her life today. Very good is our God. Then I went to my room to get my Bible, then went up and played piano for a while, and then came here. Oh, and I talked to Kirsten and it was great. Kirst, I know you'll read this so yeah. I love you. I'm so glad that we had that conversation. It kind of proved to me that what had happened had actually happened, and it was very cool to explain all of it to you.
I know this is like a crazy long post, but I still feel like there is more that I should share. I don't know what exactly, but I'll just write, add verses, and probably songs as they come to me.
Maybe this is wierd to explain how good life is on a blog, but if I could, I'd individually tell you all over coffee how good God is. I'm like, sky high. I know that the plane will land and I'll go through the desert again, but this is just such a reminder of God carrying me through every single day.
This is what the speaker based his talk on.
John 17
Jesus Prays for Himself
After Jesus said this, he looked toward heaven and prayed: "Father, the time has come. Glorify your Son, that your Son may glorify you. For you granted him authority over all people that he might give eternal life to all those you have given him. Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. I have brought you glory on earth by completing the work you gave me to do. And now, Father, glorify me in your presence with the glory I had with you before the world began.
Jesus Prays for His Disciples
"I have revealed you to those whom you gave me out of the world. They were yours; you gave them to me and they have obeyed your word. Now they know that everything you have given me comes from you. For I gave them the words you gave me and they accepted them. They knew with certainty that I came from you, and they believed that you sent me. I pray for them. I am not praying for the world, but for those you have given me, for they are yours. All I have is yours, and all you have is mine. And glory has come to me through them. I will remain in the world no longer, but they are still in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name—the name you gave me—so that they may be one as we are one. While I was with them, I protected them and kept them safe by that name you gave me. None has been lost except the one doomed to destruction so that Scripture would be fulfilled. "I am coming to you now, but I say these things while I am still in the world, so that they may have the full measure of my joy within them. I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified.
Jesus Prays for All Believers
"My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. "Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world. "Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them."
Wow!!! Aaa... I seriously love God so much and feel so blessed to know Him. For a second I contemplated writing on my guilt from the things I've been doing that have not been beneficial to God, but I realized that the grace of God wiped away yesterday so much that God has no record. And, if God is for me, whom shall I fear? Shall I fear yesterday? Shall I fear tomorrow?
Oh no. I shall not!
We rode into town the other day
Just me and my Daddy
He said I'd finally reached that age
And I could ride next to him on a horse
That of course was not quite as wide
We heard a crowd of people shouting
And so we stopped to find out why
And there was that man
That my dad said he loved
But today there was fear in his eyes
So I said
"Daddy, why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why is He dressed in that bright purple robe?
I'll bet that crown hurts Him more than He shows
Daddy, please can't you do something?
He looks as though He's gonna cry
you said he was stronger than all of those guys
Daddy, please tell me why
Why does everyone want him to die?"
Later that day the sky grew cloudy
And Daddy said I should go inside
Somehow he knew things would get stormy
Boy was he right
But I could not keep from wondering
If there was something he had to hide
So after he left I had to find out
I was not afraid of getting lost
So I followed the crowds
To a hill where I knew men had been killed
And I heard a voice come from the cross
And it said,
"Father, why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why are they casting their lots for My robe?
This crown of thorns hurts Me more than it shows
Father, please can't You do something?
I know that You must hear My cry
I thought I could handle the cross of this size
Father, remind Me why
Why does everyone want Me to die?
When will I understand why?"
"My precious Son,
I hear them screaming
I'm watching the face of the enemy beaming
But soon I will clothe You in robes of My own
Jesus, this hurts Me much more than You know
But this dark hour I must do nothing
Though I've heard Your unbearable cry
The power in Your blood destroys all of the lies
Soon You'll see past their unmerciful eyes
Look there below, see the child
Trembling by her father's side
Now I can tell You why
She is why You must die"
Well. I say this with a sigh, a smile, and many thoughts. God has become alive to me again. I am seriously in a such a good mood. I am at peace. I am joyful. I am emotions that I haven't felt in almost 8 weeks.
It's hard to even explain it because it's just so amazing to me.
So one thing I have been really missing is church. We have services here, but I often feel they lack true emotion for God. Even though I have not been that tight with God, I hate fake Christianity. I would rather everybody just be honest than everybody pretend that everything is good. So yeah. Well, I have been so desiring to hear like a sermon series. I miss South Abbotsford and just hearing services that link from week to week rather than random spiratical topics each week that don't apply to me where I'm at, or at least I don't feel they do.
So, starting last night, a guy names Don Price came to speak. He spoke last night, tonight, and will speak several times tomorrow. Well, last night was good. He talked about grace and it was amazing. God has been speaking to me almost daily about grace so it was just another moment for God to speak. It was good, and I stayed after and just prayed with another girl. My largest frustration in life has been that I believe in God with my head but not my heart and we just prayed that God would reveal Himself to both of us and that we would like tangibly feel Him. So, all was good.
Today was a fine day. Long. My hands get tired when I think of all I want to write, so I'll just stick to the important stuff. There's lots going on here on the ship and I'm tired and stressed so finding joy in work is hard. Anyways, back to the point of the post. I'm doing a 100% pure fruit juice and fruit detox so I have been spending a lot more time alone since I don't stay in the dining room for the whole meal because I get too hungry, so I was in my room tonight from like 4:45-7:30 and it was AMAZING!! I just got to sit by myself, listen to music and read. Quite lovely, I must say. Needless to say though, 7.30 came by and I knew I either needed to go to bed or go out and I didn't want to sleep so I figured I would go to this speaker thing. I would go at least for the singing and then slip out if I was bored, but I was not.
Tonight the topic was on how God is our Father and that He chooses to love us.
Here are some things that hit home during the talk.
1. When we think of a shower that doesn't have water coming out of it, either the water supply is low or the plumbing is wrong. When we don't feel God, it's not that His supply is gone, it's that the plumbing is gone.
2. God does not have to love us, but chooses to because He wants to.
3. God loves me!
4. When we think of ... where is Jesus, we say, in our heart, where is the holy spitit, we say, with us, and then we think of God, and we say ... well, he's in heaven. But God is with us in our heart. We can't think of Him as a father that is only present from up above with a stick hitting us when we're bad and sending only His and spirit to love us. He loves us.
5. God loves His son as much as He loves me, and since He loves His son SO much, then I'm pretty much set for love!
6. Jesus is the 'first born' of God, which means that I am one that is further down the line, but a sibling of Christ, and every one who is of God (so everybody) is my sibling.
7. God said to love others as we love ourself. That means He wants us to love ourself. He wants us to be happy and joyful and to be seriously good to others all the time, but also to love ourself.
8. How can we experience the love of God if we don't love ourself?
9. When bad things happen, it's not like God is watching and like, encouraging them to happen. And he doesn't simply let them happen. He lets us have our own decisions to be wrong, and often, because of one person's bad decision, lots of others are affected.
Anyways, there's so much more that I could write. It was amazing and inspiring and great and all, but that truly is only beginnning.
After he was done, Don Price strongly urged that if we agreed with what he had said and had made new comittments or were deciding things about God, that we should do something. We should stand, or kneel, or bow, or something to show God that we were serious, as well as to make it a memory in our mind so that we would remember this day. I chose to go up to the front of the room and just kneeled for a long time. At first I praised God, then I realized that I had to be honest with God. I told God that I felt like I was talking to someone who wouldn't listen. I was honest with God for the first time I think in about two weeks or so. So, I was sitting there and I started to just be filled with peace and the thoughts of life started to flee from my mind and I was just simply there.
One of my friends came over and prayer over me and it was really sweet. I was really encouraged. We just sat there for a while, and I was like, 'I feel like a little girl, sitting at the feet of her daddy, and her daddy is telling her a story. And the story is that he loves her'. I felt truly loved by God.
I knew however that I could not leave. For a long while while I was praying I felt strongly that I could not leave until a very specific person came over to me and prayer for me. It was wierd because this person is not someone who I know, have had any real conversations with or anything, but who is actually the executive director of the Africa Mercy. Needless to say, I was sitting there, just kinda serine and she came over and asked if she could pray over me. I nodded, and I can't even explain what happened. She started praying exactly what I had been praying, but for me, and more or less, from God to me. She prayed on my behalf exactly the words I had said just minutes before unaudibly. After I told her that I had known that she had to pray for me and she smiled.
God is good.
All the time.
All the time.
God is good.
I left and was good, was going to go to bed (this was like 3 hours ago) but just was like, I can't sleep, I gotta praise God!! So I went up to the international lounge but someone was playing guitar so I had an amazing conversation with the girl who I prayed with yesterday, and it was just very very cool to see how God worked in her life today. Very good is our God. Then I went to my room to get my Bible, then went up and played piano for a while, and then came here. Oh, and I talked to Kirsten and it was great. Kirst, I know you'll read this so yeah. I love you. I'm so glad that we had that conversation. It kind of proved to me that what had happened had actually happened, and it was very cool to explain all of it to you.
I know this is like a crazy long post, but I still feel like there is more that I should share. I don't know what exactly, but I'll just write, add verses, and probably songs as they come to me.
Maybe this is wierd to explain how good life is on a blog, but if I could, I'd individually tell you all over coffee how good God is. I'm like, sky high. I know that the plane will land and I'll go through the desert again, but this is just such a reminder of God carrying me through every single day.
This is what the speaker based his talk on.
John 17
Jesus Prays for Himself
After Jesus said this, he looked toward heaven and prayed: "Father, the time has come. Glorify your Son, that your Son may glorify you. For you granted him authority over all people that he might give eternal life to all those you have given him. Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. I have brought you glory on earth by completing the work you gave me to do. And now, Father, glorify me in your presence with the glory I had with you before the world began.
Jesus Prays for His Disciples
"I have revealed you to those whom you gave me out of the world. They were yours; you gave them to me and they have obeyed your word. Now they know that everything you have given me comes from you. For I gave them the words you gave me and they accepted them. They knew with certainty that I came from you, and they believed that you sent me. I pray for them. I am not praying for the world, but for those you have given me, for they are yours. All I have is yours, and all you have is mine. And glory has come to me through them. I will remain in the world no longer, but they are still in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name—the name you gave me—so that they may be one as we are one. While I was with them, I protected them and kept them safe by that name you gave me. None has been lost except the one doomed to destruction so that Scripture would be fulfilled. "I am coming to you now, but I say these things while I am still in the world, so that they may have the full measure of my joy within them. I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified.
Jesus Prays for All Believers
"My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. "Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world. "Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them."
Wow!!! Aaa... I seriously love God so much and feel so blessed to know Him. For a second I contemplated writing on my guilt from the things I've been doing that have not been beneficial to God, but I realized that the grace of God wiped away yesterday so much that God has no record. And, if God is for me, whom shall I fear? Shall I fear yesterday? Shall I fear tomorrow?
Oh no. I shall not!
When the day is done
And there's no one else around
While I'm lying here in bed
You're in my heart,
You're in my head
You're all I need,
You're all I need
There are a million voices
Calling out my name
But You're the One I want to hear
So make the others disappear
You are all I need when I'm surrounded
You are all I need when I'm surrounded
You are all I need if I'm by myself
You fill me when I'm empty
There is nothing else
You're all I need
When the morning comes
When the morning comes
And Your mercy is renewed
There's a fire in my bones
I'm not afraid to go alone
You're all I need
You're all I need
The sun on my face
I hear You whisper loud
You're still the God that opens seas
Every flower, even me
You're all I need
You're all I need
I'm drawn to everything that You do
I'm drawn to everything that You do
Nothing compares with You
We rode into town the other day
Just me and my Daddy
He said I'd finally reached that age
And I could ride next to him on a horse
That of course was not quite as wide
We heard a crowd of people shouting
And so we stopped to find out why
And there was that man
That my dad said he loved
But today there was fear in his eyes
So I said
"Daddy, why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why is He dressed in that bright purple robe?
I'll bet that crown hurts Him more than He shows
Daddy, please can't you do something?
He looks as though He's gonna cry
you said he was stronger than all of those guys
Daddy, please tell me why
Why does everyone want him to die?"
Later that day the sky grew cloudy
And Daddy said I should go inside
Somehow he knew things would get stormy
Boy was he right
But I could not keep from wondering
If there was something he had to hide
So after he left I had to find out
I was not afraid of getting lost
So I followed the crowds
To a hill where I knew men had been killed
And I heard a voice come from the cross
And it said,
"Father, why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why are they casting their lots for My robe?
This crown of thorns hurts Me more than it shows
Father, please can't You do something?
I know that You must hear My cry
I thought I could handle the cross of this size
Father, remind Me why
Why does everyone want Me to die?
When will I understand why?"
"My precious Son,
I hear them screaming
I'm watching the face of the enemy beaming
But soon I will clothe You in robes of My own
Jesus, this hurts Me much more than You know
But this dark hour I must do nothing
Though I've heard Your unbearable cry
The power in Your blood destroys all of the lies
Soon You'll see past their unmerciful eyes
Look there below, see the child
Trembling by her father's side
Now I can tell You why
She is why You must die"
Beautiful Love,
You have changed my world
It’s so much better now
I don’t know what You see in me
But I’m glad that You found
Something Worth loving oh
I reach for You
I reach for You
I reach for You
You reach for me, too
You reach for me, too
You reach me
You are more than I can take
So all of You
I receive
I cannot go to where You are
So You take me
Beyond these Dreams I dream
I can’t live without You
I don’t wanna be without You
No I can’t live without You
I am never without You
This picture is from 'Paradise Farms' I went last weekend. If you want to see pictures from there look on my facebook. If I feel inspired I'll add more picture. As well, I cut my hair, so pictures of that will surely come up soon.
God is good.
All the time.
All the time.
God is good.
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