Well. I say this with a sigh, a smile, and many thoughts. God has become alive to me again. I am seriously in a such a good mood. I am at peace. I am joyful. I am emotions that I haven't felt in almost 8 weeks.
It's hard to even explain it because it's just so amazing to me.
So one thing I have been really missing is church. We have services here, but I often feel they lack true emotion for God. Even though I have not been that tight with God, I hate fake Christianity. I would rather everybody just be honest than everybody pretend that everything is good. So yeah. Well, I have been so desiring to hear like a sermon series. I miss South Abbotsford and just hearing services that link from week to week rather than random spiratical topics each week that don't apply to me where I'm at, or at least I don't feel they do.
So, starting last night, a guy names Don Price came to speak. He spoke last night, tonight, and will speak several times tomorrow. Well, last night was good. He talked about grace and it was amazing. God has been speaking to me almost daily about grace so it was just another moment for God to speak. It was good, and I stayed after and just prayed with another girl. My largest frustration in life has been that I believe in God with my head but not my heart and we just prayed that God would reveal Himself to both of us and that we would like tangibly feel Him. So, all was good.
Today was a fine day. Long. My hands get tired when I think of all I want to write, so I'll just stick to the important stuff. There's lots going on here on the ship and I'm tired and stressed so finding joy in work is hard. Anyways, back to the point of the post. I'm doing a 100% pure fruit juice and fruit detox so I have been spending a lot more time alone since I don't stay in the dining room for the whole meal because I get too hungry, so I was in my room tonight from like 4:45-7:30 and it was AMAZING!! I just got to sit by myself, listen to music and read. Quite lovely, I must say. Needless to say though, 7.30 came by and I knew I either needed to go to bed or go out and I didn't want to sleep so I figured I would go to this speaker thing. I would go at least for the singing and then slip out if I was bored, but I was not.
Tonight the topic was on how God is our Father and that He chooses to love us.
Here are some things that hit home during the talk.
1. When we think of a shower that doesn't have water coming out of it, either the water supply is low or the plumbing is wrong. When we don't feel God, it's not that His supply is gone, it's that the plumbing is gone.
2. God does not have to love us, but chooses to because He wants to.
3. God loves me!
4. When we think of ... where is Jesus, we say, in our heart, where is the holy spitit, we say, with us, and then we think of God, and we say ... well, he's in heaven. But God is with us in our heart. We can't think of Him as a father that is only present from up above with a stick hitting us when we're bad and sending only His and spirit to love us. He loves us.
5. God loves His son as much as He loves me, and since He loves His son SO much, then I'm pretty much set for love!
6. Jesus is the 'first born' of God, which means that I am one that is further down the line, but a sibling of Christ, and every one who is of God (so everybody) is my sibling.
7. God said to love others as we love ourself. That means He wants us to love ourself. He wants us to be happy and joyful and to be seriously good to others all the time, but also to love ourself.
8. How can we experience the love of God if we don't love ourself?
9. When bad things happen, it's not like God is watching and like, encouraging them to happen. And he doesn't simply let them happen. He lets us have our own decisions to be wrong, and often, because of one person's bad decision, lots of others are affected.
Anyways, there's so much more that I could write. It was amazing and inspiring and great and all, but that truly is only beginnning.
After he was done, Don Price strongly urged that if we agreed with what he had said and had made new comittments or were deciding things about God, that we should do something. We should stand, or kneel, or bow, or something to show God that we were serious, as well as to make it a memory in our mind so that we would remember this day. I chose to go up to the front of the room and just kneeled for a long time. At first I praised God, then I realized that I had to be honest with God. I told God that I felt like I was talking to someone who wouldn't listen. I was honest with God for the first time I think in about two weeks or so. So, I was sitting there and I started to just be filled with peace and the thoughts of life started to flee from my mind and I was just simply there.
One of my friends came over and prayer over me and it was really sweet. I was really encouraged. We just sat there for a while, and I was like, 'I feel like a little girl, sitting at the feet of her daddy, and her daddy is telling her a story. And the story is that he loves her'. I felt truly loved by God.
I knew however that I could not leave. For a long while while I was praying I felt strongly that I could not leave until a very specific person came over to me and prayer for me. It was wierd because this person is not someone who I know, have had any real conversations with or anything, but who is actually the executive director of the Africa Mercy. Needless to say, I was sitting there, just kinda serine and she came over and asked if she could pray over me. I nodded, and I can't even explain what happened. She started praying exactly what I had been praying, but for me, and more or less, from God to me. She prayed on my behalf exactly the words I had said just minutes before unaudibly. After I told her that I had known that she had to pray for me and she smiled.
God is good.
All the time.
All the time.
God is good.
I left and was good, was going to go to bed (this was like 3 hours ago) but just was like, I can't sleep, I gotta praise God!! So I went up to the international lounge but someone was playing guitar so I had an amazing conversation with the girl who I prayed with yesterday, and it was just very very cool to see how God worked in her life today. Very good is our God. Then I went to my room to get my Bible, then went up and played piano for a while, and then came here. Oh, and I talked to Kirsten and it was great. Kirst, I know you'll read this so yeah. I love you. I'm so glad that we had that conversation. It kind of proved to me that what had happened had actually happened, and it was very cool to explain all of it to you.
I know this is like a crazy long post, but I still feel like there is more that I should share. I don't know what exactly, but I'll just write, add verses, and probably songs as they come to me.
Maybe this is wierd to explain how good life is on a blog, but if I could, I'd individually tell you all over coffee how good God is. I'm like, sky high. I know that the plane will land and I'll go through the desert again, but this is just such a reminder of God carrying me through every single day.
This is what the speaker based his talk on.
John 17
Jesus Prays for Himself
After Jesus said this, he looked toward heaven and prayed: "Father, the time has come. Glorify your Son, that your Son may glorify you. For you granted him authority over all people that he might give eternal life to all those you have given him. Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. I have brought you glory on earth by completing the work you gave me to do. And now, Father, glorify me in your presence with the glory I had with you before the world began.
Jesus Prays for His Disciples
"I have revealed you to those whom you gave me out of the world. They were yours; you gave them to me and they have obeyed your word. Now they know that everything you have given me comes from you. For I gave them the words you gave me and they accepted them. They knew with certainty that I came from you, and they believed that you sent me. I pray for them. I am not praying for the world, but for those you have given me, for they are yours. All I have is yours, and all you have is mine. And glory has come to me through them. I will remain in the world no longer, but they are still in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name—the name you gave me—so that they may be one as we are one. While I was with them, I protected them and kept them safe by that name you gave me. None has been lost except the one doomed to destruction so that Scripture would be fulfilled. "I am coming to you now, but I say these things while I am still in the world, so that they may have the full measure of my joy within them. I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified.
Jesus Prays for All Believers
"My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. "Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world. "Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them."
Wow!!! Aaa... I seriously love God so much and feel so blessed to know Him. For a second I contemplated writing on my guilt from the things I've been doing that have not been beneficial to God, but I realized that the grace of God wiped away yesterday so much that God has no record. And, if God is for me, whom shall I fear? Shall I fear yesterday? Shall I fear tomorrow?
Oh no. I shall not!
When the day is done
And there's no one else around
While I'm lying here in bed
You're in my heart,
You're in my head
You're all I need,
You're all I need
There are a million voices
Calling out my name
But You're the One I want to hear
So make the others disappear
You are all I need when I'm surrounded
You are all I need when I'm surrounded
You are all I need if I'm by myself
You fill me when I'm empty
There is nothing else
You're all I need
When the morning comes
When the morning comes
And Your mercy is renewed
There's a fire in my bones
I'm not afraid to go alone
You're all I need
You're all I need
The sun on my face
I hear You whisper loud
You're still the God that opens seas
Every flower, even me
You're all I need
You're all I need
I'm drawn to everything that You do
I'm drawn to everything that You do
Nothing compares with You
We rode into town the other day
Just me and my Daddy
He said I'd finally reached that age
And I could ride next to him on a horse
That of course was not quite as wide
We heard a crowd of people shouting
And so we stopped to find out why
And there was that man
That my dad said he loved
But today there was fear in his eyes
So I said
"Daddy, why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why is He dressed in that bright purple robe?
I'll bet that crown hurts Him more than He shows
Daddy, please can't you do something?
He looks as though He's gonna cry
you said he was stronger than all of those guys
Daddy, please tell me why
Why does everyone want him to die?"
Later that day the sky grew cloudy
And Daddy said I should go inside
Somehow he knew things would get stormy
Boy was he right
But I could not keep from wondering
If there was something he had to hide
So after he left I had to find out
I was not afraid of getting lost
So I followed the crowds
To a hill where I knew men had been killed
And I heard a voice come from the cross
And it said,
"Father, why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why are they casting their lots for My robe?
This crown of thorns hurts Me more than it shows
Father, please can't You do something?
I know that You must hear My cry
I thought I could handle the cross of this size
Father, remind Me why
Why does everyone want Me to die?
When will I understand why?"
"My precious Son,
I hear them screaming
I'm watching the face of the enemy beaming
But soon I will clothe You in robes of My own
Jesus, this hurts Me much more than You know
But this dark hour I must do nothing
Though I've heard Your unbearable cry
The power in Your blood destroys all of the lies
Soon You'll see past their unmerciful eyes
Look there below, see the child
Trembling by her father's side
Now I can tell You why
She is why You must die"
Beautiful Love,
You have changed my world
It’s so much better now
I don’t know what You see in me
But I’m glad that You found
Something Worth loving oh
I reach for You
I reach for You
I reach for You
You reach for me, too
You reach for me, too
You reach me
You are more than I can take
So all of You
I receive
I cannot go to where You are
So You take me
Beyond these Dreams I dream
I can’t live without You
I don’t wanna be without You
No I can’t live without You
I am never without You
This picture is from 'Paradise Farms' I went last weekend. If you want to see pictures from there look on my facebook. If I feel inspired I'll add more picture. As well, I cut my hair, so pictures of that will surely come up soon.
God is good.
All the time.
All the time.
God is good.
1 comment:
Interesting to know.
Post a Comment