39 days till I leave and 43 until I arrive.

This scares me a bit. The title of this blog.
All of a sudden, part of me isn't ready to leave. Yet, more of me is.
This will be a rambly post. Sorry for that.
But since it's only about 6 people that read it, I figure I'll be forgiven.
This has been a different week than normal.
I worked in sales because they were short-staffed and that was a lot of fun. Well, it was fun until Wednesday night.
I can't remember if I posted back in December about this, but I had to take medication for a parasite, and it made me rather sick and sleepy back then and I had to take my second dose again now.
I was putting it off and trying to figure out when would be a good time to be sick (isn't that horrible!) and for a bad reason, I took it on Wednesday. I was grumpy, and figured that I may as well get sick too!
As I was swallowing the many pills, I was also praying hard that God would help me to swallow them because they were large and plentiful! Within fifteen minutes I was asleep, and already by then, I felt horrible. I work up in the morning feeling horrible. I phoned into work and left a message saying that I couldn't come. I set my alarm for 9 to see if I would be better, but not yet then. I reset it for noon, but decided to keep sleeping. The next time I woke up it was 4:30. I had slept over 18 hours!
I easily could have kept sleeping, but chose to get up so that I would sleep again later.
It's wierd to miss a day of your life. I feel like I could have done something, but wasn't able to.
I went to sleep not too too late but then couldn't sleep steadily through the night and was awake from about 3 on, with random burst of sleep.
This morning I woke up to go to work and was sent away and told to get better. I guess I can be thankful for co-workers who care about my well-being, but I felt bad just doing nothing all day. I watched a few movies so that was nice. I just kind of sat around. I don't usually do that, so it was good. Most weekends, when I should be resting from my week I go out and do stuff because it's the right thing to do, but my body rarely is resting, so it was good.
The sweet thing is the get well character of the ship. Everybody somehow knows that I have been sick! I have received many sympathetic glances! They make me laugh. Some people seem to question my sickness, as I do as well, but most people just look at me and can tell that I'm not well. It's funny how the people who are parents are the ones who can tell the most. They see that I'm lacking colour and not myself.
But now I'm feeling a lot better. I can tell that I'm not exactly myself, but I'm on my way.
So. 39 days from now I'll step on a plane.
Wow! I can barely even fathom it because it's so far away and yet so close and yeah. Home seems so very far away, but it also seems to be getting closer.
11 thousand, 1 hundred, forty-two kilometers between me and you!
Soon to be less.
Soon my dear friends and family whom I miss SO much, I will see you.
I thought I was done at those words, but somehow I'll write more. Not somehow I guess, but for some reason I will.
Words seem to come quick lately. I have been writing so much. Last weekend I led a worship service here, and God was so evidently there. It was incredible. I get scared sometimes when I feel that God is preparing me for stuff because I want a mundane life. Isn't that horrible! I just want to live normal, but God' s telling me each day that He's got so much for me.
Rambling again. Sorry. Well, not sorry, but whatever!
Speaking of God, I am so in love with Him right now. I have never felt so close to God, and I have never spent so much time with Him, getting to know Him, feeling loved by Him, and being so very changed by Him.
A while ago I was talking with a girl on the ship, and I mentioned what I was going through, and she said, refinement. I think that sums it up. God is refining me into who He wants me to be, and I can't even fight it, because I want my desires to align with His.