Home sweet home
These kids were so incredibly cute. I fell in love with them instantly.
I took this picture from the train on the way to the Bong Mines.
This is the hallway into my room. I'm in the second little cubicle.
This is my lovely apples bed
This is to show that my entire closet is smaller than from my hand to elbow
The view from my bed.
The past few weeks have been some of the most challenging of my life. I'm in a constant battle with a lot of things, but God has amazed me with how He is truly willing to come to where I am.
I've never struggled so much with both my faith and with the ability to be loved by Christ. I've done things in my life that looking back I realize how completely unworthy I am of the grace of God.
As hard as it is to believe, I know that God simply asks for a heart that is willing, so I just have to figure out where I am with Him.
Anyways, prayers are always appreciated. I don't understand God, but I am working my way towards being willing to love Him again.
As well. This is a hard day knowing that two months ago life changed so drastically for someone whom I do call sister. It didn't affect me all day, but I do mourn Nate, and I miss him. Whenever I sing and play my worship songs I'll often find notes from times I would lead with him. Though tears are not something that come when I want, my heart is broken again today as I remember.
Staring at my mirror
It's become crystal clear
My scars are starting to be seen
They show the world where I've been
This charade of life
Has left me tired
It's cutting like a knife
And causing my soul to burn in fire
I never expected to need this much grace
I had thought I was doing will in this place
The hand I held onto has slipped away
I don't know if ever again I can get it to stay
My core of life is in a blaze
I'm lost in this maze
My eyes have glimpsed what they never should have seen
I'm ashamed of where I've been
I'm locked in handmade chains
That are stuck together
Hope seems impossible to gain
And I don't know how to put my broken everything back together
I never expected to need this much grace
I had thought I was doing will in this place
The hand I held onto has slipped away
I don't know if ever again I can get it to stay
Maybe one day I'll be washed clean
With skin and life that truly gleams
But until then I'll sit and cry
Partially because I do know why
I never expected to need this much grace
I had thought I was doing will in this place
The hand I held onto has slipped away
I don't know if ever again I can get it to stay
(Slipped Away - Nadine Schroeder - September 18/07)
Jesus you took my hand and told me where to go
You pointed me to this place
and said, 'child you're never alone'
I believe in your words and I believe in your power
These are the words of my heart
My eyes don't see you and my hands don't feel your touch
In my heart, mind, and soul I know you are with me
But right now I'm lost in the blue blue sea
Jesus you took me from the sinking sand and told me it was you that I should sow
You taught me to make you my foundation's base and said, 'you'll never be on your own'
I trust in your words and I rely on your power
These are the words of my heart.
My eyes don't see you and my hands don't feel your touch
In my heart, mind, and soul I know you are with me
But right now I'm lost in the blue blue sea
Jesus I do believe in your words and I trust in them too
I cannot live wihtout your power I love you Lord, I do
This blue is swallowing me
So give me faith to trust
Strength to carry on
And the ability to be honest with you because
My eyes don't see you and my hands don't feel your touch
In my heart, mind, and soul I know you are with me
But right now I'm lost in the blue blue sea
(Blue Blue Sea - Nadine Schroeder - September 9/07)
6 comments:
Oh, I want to be there with you! Is Apple Bed big enough for two??? Your pictures are beautiful. So great to see more of what your daily life is looking like.
What a wonderful post Nadine! I always look forward to reading your updates. Your pictures are beautiful - the ones of you and the kids are priceless. Reid and I were looking at the pics and we both commented on the fact that you really look like Kirsten in one of them. Must be sisters :) What moving songs you wrote! I love your honesty Nadine. Will be thinking and praying for you.
I wish that I could be sitting with you hearing you sing those words. Your pictures are really giving me the itch to travel some more!!! We love you, TLLSJC
Thanks so much for taking the time to post the pictures! It lets me see the world you are in, and it is so different from what I know. I hope and pray that you will feel loved, even though you are so far away! And that closet!!! What are they thinking? So much for monsters even fitting in there to hide! :) God bless!
Pictures are great.
Remember that it's not about us, it's about God. Whatever we've done, is wiped away because of Jesus, and God's grace is amazing. No matter what you are ashamed about, God loves you through that He doesn't paint over it, but peals it off, to start fresh and clean. You are a great girl, and we are all proud of you. Just remember to be Jesus, and be yourself!
Hi Nadine, I was here. So touched by the honesty and vulnerability in your songs, you expressive girl.
All we have to do is make the choice, hey? That's the beautiful thing about our faith, that our Saviour is loving us and holding us and upholding us even when we can't feel it...
Thank you for sharing and for leading our thoughts towards our Redeemer.
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